The Day after Scandal Binging
I was recently at a bagel shop
And the woman behind the counter
Tired as she was from a 4:30 AM start
Offered me what she called a schmear
Of cream cheese
Which is basically a smear
Of cream cheese
A generous one
Too much, it seems
On a bagel
So it got me thinking about smears
And smear campaigns
Generous spreads of words and pictures
Even videos
Turned into podcasts and documentaries
Too much it, it seems
Except maybe not
When it’s about the narcissists and whoremongers
Who deserve it, it seems
So I thought about the people in the bagel shop
And how sometimes I think I can tell
If they are Mormon or evangelical or Jewish
If they vote like me or not
If they grew up poor or rich
If they’re gay or straight
Just by looking at them, it seems
And how sometimes I think that because I know
Who they are
Just by looking
I also know where to find the smear campaign
That applies to them
On YouTube or Netflix or Hulu
The generous smear of scandal
That proves this kind of person is awful
And deserves it
Too much, it seems? But probably not
And how transparency does keep us safer
Yes
But how smearing keeps me clicking
And listening
And sharing
The more generous, the better
Like cream cheese on a fresh bagel
It’s a treat
It can’t be too much, it seems
And how the smearing keeps us schmearing
We schmear each other
Onto the same team
With words that flatter
Or to keep you from leaving me
By sharing a scandalous article or video
And joining our disgust
In satisfaction
We schmear ourselves
In self-gratifying preachification
WE are NEVER like THOSE people, it seems
And like a user to a drug
Or a young guy to porn
Or maybe actually like
That time I took another plate
Or another piece of cake
Even though I knew my stomach would hurt
Because even good things
Can be too much, it seems
I listen to the next episode
Click on the next link
Share my outrage with the next friend
And the schmearing and smearing
Gets smeared
Generously
On my feed and time
On my soul and mind
What a treat, it seems
And sometimes I’m looking
Because transparency is good
And right
And just
And sometimes I’m clicking
Just to look
And disgust
See how awful you really are
And how I am just right, it seems
Except my bagel has too much schmear
So I sit down and remove it from its bag
And scrape off the excess
Surrounded in the shop
By gay people and evangelicals
Executives and liberals
Soccer moms and Muslims
Who all have their own documentary or podcast
Out there
Made by an enemy
Or an advocate for transparency
A smear about them
Or me
And many of them have also scraped off some schmear
Which is really just a smear of cream cheese
Off their bagel
Different flavors
But it’s too much, it seems
